Dark Corner

I haven't been around these parts in a while because I feel like hammered shit. I don't know what if anything may have triggered it, or if this is just a normal part of grief, but I've just barely been able to drag my sorry ass out of bed for the last week or so.

Alex started work and is doing great. I was in that wedding and it was lots of fun until the father daughter dance when I realized Alex would never have one with Flora. I didn't mean to make things personal, but they became that way and kind of colored the end of the night. My mother in law is paying for us to have Flora cremated. I love her for it and will never forget that kindness.

We have to find an urn. We looked tonight after dinner and it makes me so sad and so angry that there are special sections on urn websites for children and infants. It's not fair. We saw some cute ones, but nothing that seems like "the one" yet. We will keep looking.

I started a savings account with Alex, which means I achieved one of the goals I made when I started writing here. Yay! We're also doing well at having family meals that are healthy and being more active. Some days are harder than others, but we're moving forward and that's what counts.

Just checking in from my little corner of darkness. I'll be out in the daylight eventually, but for now I'm going to let myself feel all the feelings and sink as deep down as I need to.